That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
