Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Congratulations! We have a period
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
