Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
