You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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