he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
