u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
