She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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