I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
