Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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