her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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