If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
