But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
