I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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