we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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