literally had 100 drinks last night.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
