i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
