What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
