i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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