she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
