please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
