i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
