walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
