theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
