Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
