First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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