Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
