so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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