The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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