my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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