I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
