I can text with my tongue
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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