i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
