she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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