Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
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I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
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I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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