omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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