who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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