Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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