I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
