.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
