I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
