Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
sarcasm needs its own font
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize