my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize