remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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