Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
