Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
