it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
