We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just pee around me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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