Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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