i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
