getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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