So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I need a beard to bite.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
