He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
