dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
