What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
