so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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