Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
