This house was built for laser tag.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize