i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
sarcasm needs its own font
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
