I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
