id be glad to
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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