so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
