you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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