it hurts more in the daytime
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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