So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
