i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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