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I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
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