was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here