May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program