how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.