I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
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we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.