Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
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just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
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He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.